A “stupidity” that we all gladly do anyway (A K-drama Deep-Dive Review)
When I watched Doctor Cha, one scene hit me so hard. It was the moment when Jeongsuk, after suffering a liver malfunction and going through a transplant, finally returned home. You’d expect, after such a life-altering ordeal, that she’d be resting, pampered by her husband and children, surrounded by care and gratitude.
But no.
Instead of resting, she was expected to jump right back into housework. She was in the kitchen cooking for the family, as if nothing had happened. What shocked me even more was how she wasn’t even included in her own family’s revelry.
Instead they barked orders at her—complaining about the wrong coffee beans, grumbling over having toast instead of croissants, and whining that the juice wasn’t served fresh at the table. Watching this, I was seething.
And then came the moment that broke my heart: Jeongsuk stood across the room, watching her family transform from a table full of complaints to one of cheerful camaraderie—once she was out of sight, she was no longer part of the picture.
It was such a stark image: her standing alone across the room, watching her family’s closeness from afar.
Arggh! I was so angry. And yet, beneath the anger, I felt a deep, aching sadness.
That scene forced me to confront something uncomfortable: the relentless, often invisible, expectations placed on wives, mothers—on women as a whole. How easily care becomes an obligation, and how thankless that role can be, even in our most intimate relationships.
It made me wonder: why is it that women, even after enduring so much, feel compelled to keep giving? Is it love, duty, conditioning—or a mix of all three? And more painfully, will we ever learn to value ourselves enough to say, “No more”?
I am not trying to start a debate about gender equality. It’s just that, watching this drama, I was struck by how much women—across all contexts—are simply expected to carry. They work at home (yes, housework is work too! And sadly, most of the time, it’s unpaid), they work at their jobs, and even in their sleep, their minds are busy, running through lists of what needs to be tackled the next day.
And I’m not saying that men don’t do that too. But I’m focusing here on what this drama so sharply portrayed: the relentless expectations placed on women.
It made me think—when did it become so normal for women to give so much of themselves, to the point of exhaustion, and still feel like they’re falling short? Why is it that care, effort, and sacrifice are invisible until they’re absent?
And yet, what’s even more confounding is that so many of us women accept this. We take it on willingly, sometimes even proudly, convinced it is our role, our duty, or even our proof of love.
It’s foolish, isn’t it? And yet—it’s a foolishness that feels so familiar. So deeply ingrained. Which is why I stated in the title that it is “stupidity” and yet it is something we all would still gladly do anyway.
And with that, Jeongsuk’s resilience is so commendable. She is everywhere, in everything, and in every way always there for her husband, her son, her daughter, and—though not by her own choice—for her mother-in-law too.
In fact, her care for her mother-in-law is so selfless and unconditional that even the mother-in-law’s friends are in awe. They envy her, calling her blessed to have such a rare gem of a daughter-in-law.
And so, watching Jeongsuk sacrifice so much feels really bittersweet to me. It is a blessing to be able to care for one’s family like that. But, as always, it comes back to balance. When too much is expected of one person, and when that giving goes unappreciated, it becomes deeply saddening.
I only want to bring us all to the realisation that we need to appreciate one another more, and to be mindful that sometimes, without meaning to, we overlook the very people we should be most grateful for.
We can become so consumed by our own wants, needs, and the busyness of life that we forget our loved ones. And if we take even just a small lesson from this drama: as a husband, no matter how busy you are with work or friends, spend time with your wife—talk to her, go on dates again. As children, if your parents are still around, call them, visit them, cherish them. And even as a mother-in-law, remember that your daughter-in-law is someone’s daughter too. Treat her with respect, and most of all, with love.
Because in the end, isn’t the true measure of love not in how much we receive, but in how much we cherish the ones who give so much to us?
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