Forcing themselves and their dreams on their children (A K-drama Deep-Dive Review)
Being a parent—or a child, for that matter—is complicated in today’s world. The expectations, the challenges, the stakes. It’s no wonder that parents often demand an enormous amount from their children, while the kids endure pressure not only from their parents, but also from school, society, and their peers. Life is tough.
And this is exactly what Doctor Cha captures so well: the clash of parenting styles within a single family, and its effects on their two children—one already a working adult, the other still in high school.
Inho, the father, is authoritarian and domineering. Jeongsuk, the mother, is caring and nurturing. At first glance, it might seem like a healthy balance: discipline on one side, warmth on the other. But it all goes haywire when either parent pushes too far past their limits.
When watching Doctor Cha, it’s easy to conclude that Jeongsuk is the good parent and Inho the bad one. I thought the same, especially when I saw Inho literally forcing their daughter, Irang, to get into medical school when her passion clearly lies in art. And then there’s the fact that he doesn’t even realise their son, Jungmin, dreams of majoring in communications and becoming a variety show producer.
But now I see it differently: it’s not necessarily wrong for parents to guide their children towards careers they believe are good for them—especially if it’s a path where they know they can offer support. What matters is how they go about it. And if children can genuinely convince us that they will thrive and be happier in their chosen path, then as a parent, we need to respect that. We need to learn to let go.
At first glance, Jeongsuk seems like the caring parent, especially when she steps in to support Irang while the father is literally forcing medical school down her throat. But I see Jeongsuk as more reactive—she responds only after the conflict flares up between father and daughter. Granted, the main theme of the drama isn’t parent-child relationships; it’s only a side theme and we don’t have enough background to judge her fully. Still, it captures the tensions and dilemmas that come with being both a parent and a child.
And that is the beauty of watching dramas—we get to experience life vicariously. We “live” through many lives, facing situations and experiences we may never encounter in our own. As parents, when we see Inho and Jeongsuk, and as children, when we see Jungmin and Irang, we’re invited to reflect on our own lives.
How do we handle these moments in reality? How can we learn from what we see unfold on screen? We see one way it can go in Doctor Cha, and countless other possibilities in other dramas. It makes me wonder: What lessons can we take away, having already witnessed these stories play out before us?
As parents, we know the different situations we face. How can we learn from the dramas we watch to become better people? And if you’re curious to explore it further, try watching a drama that brings your very struggle to life!
And as children, you know the life you share with your family. These dramas can give you a glimpse into what it means to be a parent and a carer—something you may not have experienced yet yourself. And from there, you can start to think: what can you do to make things better, not just for yourself, but also for the people around you?
That brings me back to the word stupidity in my title. It’s not meant to insult, but to describe that blind spot parents—and kids—sometimes have: the foolishness of believing we always know best, while failing to truly listen to one another. Inho shows this so clearly, but even Jeongsuk isn’t entirely free from it. It’s a reminder that love and care are not enough if we don’t come with understanding. In the end, this “stupidity” is something we all risk falling into, no matter how well-intentioned we are.
And if I may add a reference to the recent UK-based Adolescence, this is a perfect example of over-doing-it and under-doing-it in parenting.
In the end, what kind of parents, children—or simply, people—do we want to be, when faced with these choices ourselves?
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